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How to Avoid Offending Pregnant Women

Written on 05/28/2008   By   in Uncategorized

Does that seem like an impossible task? Being able to avoid offending pregnant women? Each woman full of pregnancy hormones, each with her own foibles and pet peeves? Pregnancy can be a touchy time emotionally, full of hormonal ups and downs. In my pregnancies to date I have been blessed with fairly stable emotions – managing to avoid the largest of hormonal swings, and rarely crying – praise the Lord! However, as I approach the end of this, my third pregnancy, I find myself becoming….touchy on certain subjects. Here are a few helpful tips from my personal point of view on how to deal with women in the home stretch of their pregnancy.

Yesterday we had another pre-natal appointment, due to an unfortunate chain of events it had been six weeks since my last visit to our ‘baby doctor’ who will, Lord willing, be delivering this sweet little one at home (well at my Mother’s home actually, because we live too far in the boonies). Needless to say, I have grown some since our last visit, I’m now somewhere between 34 – 35 weeks – baby isn’t far off. This is also our third baby, and I am…larger than I was with our first to be certain.

However, I’m finding that as I approach the end of this pregnancy I am on the receiving end of many, many comments from onlookers. Perhaps it’s because I don’t go out (off of our homestead) very often that I am more sensitized to this attention, but it could be those pregnancy hormones too.

I will present some case studies of actual conversations.

Case Study #1

 

“Oh, your girls are so sweet, look at them in their little dresses.” – Yes, who can resist little girls in dresses! I am totally okay with comments like this. Bring it on, people just think the girls are so cute.

“Oh, and you are expecting another one soon.” – Sure, that’s apparent at this point in the game, no problems here.

“When are you due?” – Fair question.

Me – “Another month or so, at least.”

Here’s where everything goes downhill.

With an obvious glance at the growing tummy, eyes widening – “Oooohhhh?!” – Sigh, the shocked expression and the no further comments in that department give pregnant moms the feeling that you are thinking, “Wow, you sure are as big as a house already, and another month to go? Oh my!”. Of course, that may not be true, but we pregnant mothers are…sensitive to these things :) .

Suggested response – “You look great! You must be so excited for the baby to arrive! What a blessing!”

Case Study #2

 

“Oh, look at your girls they are so darling, what a cutie!” – Seriously we get these comments everywhere we go – having children is an excellent conversation starter!

“Oh, and look at you too! That is so precious!” Followed by general cooing. – Sure, I’m pregnant, I don’t mind it if people notice.

“Are you due soon?” While looking at the BIG belly. It is big, I can’t deny it!

Me – “Oh, another month or so at least.”

Expression of disbelief, looking at belly. “Oh really, oh wow.” Nervous laughter.

Suggested response – “You look great! You must be so excited for the baby to arrive! What a blessing!”

(Yes, I am feeling hypersensitive about my size these days.)

Case Study #3

 

“Oh, I haven’t seen you in so long. Look at you, wow, you are huge!” – Okay, this is a bad start to the conversation. Never point out to a woman in her third trimester that she is huge. Trust me, she already knows.

“Wow, when are you due again? Another month? NO – I don’t think so! You look like you are ready to have that baby any day now! WOW – maybe there are two in there!” Laughter. – Well at least this person came right out and said it, instead of just acting shocked.

Comments: Still – it is really best not to mention the immensity of a pregnant woman unless you would like to offend her. On the opposite side it is also best not to tell a pregnant woman how small she is, or she may become worried that something is wrong with the baby/pregnancy. Telling her how big she is – well, it should just go without saying that this is a no-no as well.

Conclusion:

I know that pregnant women are fascinating, I am fascinated by pregnant women as well. But, how soon we forget what it is like to be so hugely pregnant, and how delicate and sensitive we should be with our comments to our pregnant friends.

(Disclaimer: Written by a hugely pregnant, hormonal woman. Advice and comments to be taken with a grain of salt, and a large dose of tongue-in-cheek humor. I am certain some of you can empathize however.)